The wild life is conspiring against me

Hello everyone,

If you know me personally then you probably already know at least part of the story I am about to tell.   Whether you know me or not I hope you sit back and get a good chuckle.

My husband and I got married in May 2000.  We went to Mackinac Island for our honeymoon.  We drove for about four hours, waited for an hour for the ferry, took a horse and buggy to our hotel, and then spent another hour trying to get checked in and find out room.  Then we waited for our luggage to be delivered.  After all of that we finally went outside to walk to town and officially start our honeymoon. 

A bird pooped on my head.

Les thought that was hilarious and wanted me to reenact my reaction so he could get a picture.  I refused.  We wiped the poop off my head and kept walking. I WAS NOT going back to the room to start all over again.

A few years later I went to Massachusetts with my parents and siblings.  We went on a whale watch in Boston.  There was a large group of kids on the boat for a school field trip.  The chaperones allowed the kids to eat as much candy and run as much as they wanted.  As soon as we actually started moving the kids started throwing up.  They all had bags of vomit.  My little sister started to turn green.  I'd never actually seen anyone turn green before that but I swear to you she was a pale shade of green.  I didn't want to watch her throw up so went outside and leaned against the windows in order to enjoy the view and the breeze without the vomit smell.  My parents and sisters were on the other side of the window.  After a few minutes I looked to my left toward the front of the boat and saw a man getting sick off the side. I turned to the woman on my right to say something like "Oh, poor guy" and she was covering her head.  So, I thought I better do the same.  It's a good thing I did because I ended up with puke from my shoulder to my shoes.  My lovely family was falling on the floor laughing.  I went to the lower deck to wash my hands but of course the bathroom was not working!  So I wiped up as best as I could and went back to sit with my family.  The wife of the man that threw up was sitting next to my parents the whole time and everyone saw the whole thing as it happened.  He came in and apologized.  He also said "I guess I shouldn't have had those three donuts this morning".  Nice.  I didn't need to know what was sprayed all over my clothes.  This was all before we even got to the whales.  I took pictures of the whales with puke on my hands.  After we got back to shore we walked several blocks to a restaurant where I could wash up better.  I had to walk the city for the rest of the day with my jacket turned inside out and wrapped around my waist.

A couple of years after that I was on a March of Dimes walk with my sister and step-mom.  This is the same sister that looked like she was going to throw up in the last story.  (No throw up this time).  About 10 minutes into the walk a bird flew out of a bush and scared us half to death.  I yelled "poop!" (language cleaned up for the kiddies).  Karen laughed and said something like "That's right" and pointed at my shirt.  I had bird poop on my shirt for the rest of the walk!

When there are a lot of birds flying around now I often here "Watch out Kerri!!"

Yesterday at Charlton Park I was talking to a Mom and felt something on my neck.  I asked her if there was a bug on me.  She said no but about a minute later I looked down and saw a huge spider on my sleeve.  I swatted it off and the Mom stomped on it.  I looked down at my sleeve and saw bird poop that I hadn't noticed before.  What in the world!!!!!????

Somehow I have offended the animal kingdom or something.  I realize the vomit story didn't necessarily have anything to do with animals.  But then again we were going to watch whales!  Coincidence, I think not!!

Hopefully I didn't make you sick.  I hope you got a chuckle from my misfortune.